I see all of your points, Richie, but the 'walk a mile in my shoes' justification sometimes doesn't cut it.
Well, even if age weren't a factor, better attention to detail would probably help. The "walk a mile in my shoes" point was mine, not Richie's.
will we ever get the truth? once again, I do not know.
I'll repeat that point again, just for clarity, and make the disclaimer that it's only my personal opinion. NO, you, me, we, will never get the truth. Not all of the facts, nor all of the agendas, and everybody involved will have them.
We can discuss the issue and the underlying principles here theoretically
forever, and that can be productive. If you take Richie's word for it, and I do, there is a written set of rules, and an unwritten set of rules. The game is played by both sets, and it's at the controller's peril to not know which set is in effect from moment to moment.
That having been said, I think it's more important to keep in mind, we, who are not, never have been, and never will be, in the position to know exactly how the game is played and all of it's nuances, will never be truly qualified to be the judge of whether or not a controller's (any controller's--the alleged victim here, or the alleged prepetrator's), conduct is in or out of bounds.